but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Everyone says I win the strip club
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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