it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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