I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
