Umm I'm too high to move.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
