Its about making memories worth repressing
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
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