you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
