so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
