Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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