Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
