We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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