A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I skipped work to stalk him.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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