I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This baby is an asshole
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
