I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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