grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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