youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
my liver is dry heaving
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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