i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
