She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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