Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
