Don't you send me to vm
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize