real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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