I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
should my penis look like a turkey
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
