im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
