Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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