I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
