I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
