watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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