i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
