I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
