one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
