yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
