Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
