ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
