How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
