Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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