wakey wakey hands off snakey
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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