She said her name was "party"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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