I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You're a waste of cheezeits
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
