you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
