Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
