Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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