He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
