I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
