The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
