:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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