Farmville is her only friend.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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