Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Please, let me fuck your mom
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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