This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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