I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
