I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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