The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
