If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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