"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
